A clap across the face

I have been thinking about thunder today. Not because when I finally emerged from bed today at 10am the weather was crappy and the sky gray. And not because I really felt like I needed another couple of hours sleep (which I always feel). I am thinking about thunder because of an incredible story I was privileged enough to hear yesterday.

I went to a book group at Outreach WI last night. Outreach is Madison's local LGBT community center, and I was attending Big Gay Steve's Big Gay Book Group for the first time. It was a lot of fun, even though there were only three of us. The two men who were there, Steve (of the group's name) and Rodger, are both extensively involved with LGBT issues in the state, and volunteer with the Speaker's Bureau at the center. We sat around and talked about queer life in general, the topics mainly coming from the book we read - "My Little Book of Neuroses - Trials From My Queer Life" by Michael Thomas Ford. In the course of this, we inevitably exchanged coming out stories. Steve has without doubt the most interesting tale I have ever heard. In finally deciding to tell his family, he blurted himself out of the closet to his brother while watching ESPN. His brother replied with a somber "You are going to have to have a long talk with Dad about this". Thinking this was going to lead to a horrible, long conversation, Steve told his father on the way out of the door that night to avoid confrontation.

"We'll need to talk about this tomorrow" was his dad's response.

While walking in the woods the next day, with the sole purpose of discussing Steve's newly revealed homosexuality, his father calmly presented his own thoughts on the matter

"I had a gay fuck-buddy for 10 years before I met your mother."

Not really knowing how to reply, Steve had a rather incredible realization. At the one moment in every gay man or woman's life that they should truly be able to call their own, he had been usurped by, of all people, his father. Whose coming out was after all, rather more dramatic.

I personally cannot imagine this scenario. I think it would invoke some strange backlash prejudice in me. I can't decide whether it makes the whole experience easier, or harder, or just completely strange. One thing is clear however - if anyone has ever had their thunder stolen, its Steve on his coming out day!